Advent Countdown Chain

Today marks the first Sunday of Advent.  I grew up in a tradition that did not celebrate Advent, so these past few years of learning more and more about Liturgical traditions, I have grown to really appreciate Advent.

Last Sunday our church celebrated Christ the King Sunday, the last Sunday in the Church Calendar.  We celebrated (during a blizzard) with Family Worship Stations.  We have a Family Worship Sunday once every other month or so.  On Family Worship Sundays we do a shorter, kid-friendly homily and then move in to worship stations.  The stations usually include some art, some prayer, so writing, and even some tasting (if I can connect it to the text for the week).  This past Sunday we celebrated the kingship of Christ and the coming of the Advent season.  We made crowns, wrote prayers and decorated ornaments.

We were supposed to celebrate at the church building that day but had to meet in someone's house because the blizzard knocked out power at the church building we use. Due to the limited space (and the raging blizzard outside), we didn't get to put together these Advent chains together (they did go home with people though).

I wanted to share the resource if anyone wanted to print them and put them together with their family.  The tasks for each day are designed so that they can be done with or without kids, and without much time or expense.  The goal is to help remember what we are waiting for during this Advent season.

There is a topper that you can print off, and use a spare loop to connect the other loops to.  We used some shiny ribbon that I had at home to staple a loop to the top, and one to the bottom to connect the paper loops. 

If you want to download the PDF and print one to make with your household, I have uploaded it to GoogleDrive here: Advent Chain 2018

Clipart bought on Etsy:  Studio Desset

Baptism Sunday

This past Sunday I had the chance to give the Homily (like a sermon for those non-liturgical peeps) at church. I also had the chance to lead our church through the baptism liturgy for the baptism of two of my favorite kiddos. Kiddos that I have known since they were born (or shortly thereafter), it was so beautiful to witness and be a part of it.

It also carried some pretty significant weight in my heart and life. I grew up in a faith tradition, that though it has many beautiful components, did not allow women to speak in services, or in some instances, outside of women and children's spaces. When our leadership team decided that the Sunday I had already drawn to speak on, would also be the Sunday of the baptism, I was a little overwhelmed. Partially because it was our first ever baptism service, partially I didn’t feel qualified to speak on such a big day, and partially because I know the conflict that can come up over women speaking in churches and we would have some guests with us that day because of the planned baptisms.

Well, with lots of prayers, some nerves, and a little bit of shaking, it was a great service. I even made it through leading one of my “nieces” through the vows of baptism without crying, I only choked up once. As I sit and reflect on the time yesterday, I am filled with gratitude for a church that believes that all members have something to bring to the table in terms of giftedness, and a teaching team that pushes me out of my kids, youth and women comfort zone, because they see giftedness in me.

Our church follows the Revised Common Lectionary, so the hope was to incorporate the text for Sunday, with the baptism, and since it was the end of our time in James sum up the previous 4 homilies as well.  I haven't written a presentation word for word since college, I'm usually more of a bullet points person, but since I was kind of nervous, and our goal for the length of the Homily was 5 minutes instead of the normal 20, I thought I would script it. Here is what I wrote beforehand, and mostly delivered yesterday:

We have spent the past few weeks in the book of James, and we have learned how words have the power to shape us, to determine how we view ourselves, and the world around us. Words have the power to harm, and transform. Words have power.

James 5:13-20

Are any among you suffering? Let them pray. Are any cheerful? Let them sing psalms. 14 Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the church, and they should pray over the sick person, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Faithful prayer will rescue the sick person, and the Lord will raise them up. If they have committed any sin, it will be forgiven them. 16 So confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.When a righteous person prays, that prayer carries great power. 17 Elijah was a man with passions like ours, and he prayed and prayed that it might not rain – and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. 18 Then he prayed again, the sky gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.19 My dear family, if someone in your company has wandered from the truth, and someone turns them back, 20 know this: the one who turns back a sinner from wandering off into error will rescue that person’s life from death, and cover a multitude of sins.

In our text today, and with the baptism, we will witness here in a few minutes we see the power of words on display. We see how our words give us the chance to bridge the gap between heaven and earth, to bring Jesus’ coming kingdom to life in our lives and community. 

In today’s passage, James is giving us guidance for the things that we come up against in this life. He is suggesting that in everything we encounter in this life, our answer should be prayer. When we see hard things, good things, and bad things. He is telling us that our answer should first be prayer. In praying we are bringing new realities to earth and trusting in our Lord to answer our prayer. Our prayers have the power to transform our lives, and the lives of those around us. Our prayers have the power to bring healing and forgiveness. 

When we confess our sins, when we look to Jesus for restoration He will come near to us. He isn’t a dark, distant or unknown God, but a God that wants to be near to His children who need him. NT Wright reminds us that prayer is important because God is, as James promised near to those who draw near to him. Heaven and earth meet when in the spirit someone calls on the name of the Lord. And prayer means what it means and it does what it does because God’s new time has broken in to the continuing time of this sad old world, so that the person praying stands with one foot in the place of trouble, sickness, and sin and with the other foot in the place of healing, forgiveness, and hope. Prayer brings the two together. So when we are sick or hurting, or have sinned, we should pray, and when we are happy and rejoicing about the good we should see we should thank the Lord! 

So today, I want to challenge us to recognize the great power that our words have, not just in how we speak to and respond to each other, but in bringing together heaven to earth. What a privilege and responsibility. 

Today we are going to hear some mighty words spoken. Words on the truth of who Jesus is, and who he has made these young ladies to be, and how He has shown up in their lives. We are going to witness their confession of faith and their baptism, and see heaven meet earth again. 

Baptism is a sacred ritual that joins us in the story of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, connecting us with God’s church from the time of Jesus and moving us from brokenness in old creation or participation in God’s new creation through the power of God’s holy spirit.

Each of us has a story that the Lord is writing in our lives, a story of redemption, sanctification, and drawing us closer to him. For each person that looks different. Today, as we hear and read the words of the baptism liturgy I would love for all of us to think of how Jesus has moved or is moving in our stories. To be reminded of all he has done, and all he promises to do. As we hear the baptism covenant spoken, be reminded of covenants you have made in your lives, and as we promise to support these girls as they grow in their lives in Christ, I want us to remember today, text, and the power we have to point each other back to the truth. That all of us sometimes get distracted from the truth and sin against each other and God, and that we have the power and the privilege to use our words to point each other back to Jesus. 

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I used NT Wright's James for Everyone as a resource for the James passage

Our church has used John Mark Hicks' Enter the Water, Come to the Table as a resource as we have developed our theology around baptism

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Here are a few photos (also how amazing it is that I go to a church where I can speak in Chacos and a messy bun, and it is 1000% ok):

safe

Six years ago I wrote about fear. You can read it here: Fear

More than fear, I think it was about personal safety.  Was putting my suburban self in a rougher urban context, and people wondering if it was safe.  I was a 28-year-old version of myself, living in a house with some other single girls, trying to love Jesus and my neighbors. 28 year-old me had a love of the idea that following Jesus wouldn't always be safe, but it would be good.

Somewhere in the past 6 years, I bought this print from an artist on Etsy.  (You too can buy it here: Lion Art, CS Lewis).

It says:  "Is he safe?" "Safe, 'course he isn't safe, but he's good.  He's the king, I tell you."

In the past few months, I have realized that so much of me loves safety.  I don't necessarily crave physical safety.  I've lived in rough areas, taught in areas that were even rougher. Talked with my mom about what I wanted a funeral to look like if for some reason I was a victim of a random act of violence. I could get over fear for my physical safety really easily. 

I crave the feeling of safety I get from being in control or at least the perceived safety. 

If you know the Enneagram at all, I am a 1.  Ones are perfectionists.  Ones don't like failure, and this 1 won't take a risk if there is a chance of failure. Ones don't like mistakes, and failure is a mistake.  This past year has felt like it has been filled with failures.  Things that I thought I would be successful in, that didn't work out how I had planned.  Lots and lots of failure.  Many incidents where I have shown my imperfection and had to come to terms with the reality that I can not control all things, and I can't be the best at everything.

As a result, I've become risk-shy.  Almost paralyzingly so.  Not putting myself in any situations where there might be even a chance of failure.  With my job, with my family, in my personal life.  And honestly, it's left me feeling like I am going through life half asleep.  Kind of numb to the highs and the lows that come with being human. I've developed habits of reading or living in my head in a way that has left me disconnected from who I am and what I know to be true about myself. 

In the past week or so, I have realized that I can't keep living life this way.  A quiet life, where everyone is happy, and I can't fail might be good for a while.  But, there are only so many books I can read to distract myself from my disobedience.  My flat out ignoring who the Lord has made me to be.  

I was reminded of Isaiah 41:10: 

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

I was reminded that it is OK for me to take risks, and if I fail, when I fail, cause no one is perfect, the Lord has it.  That even though the failure hurts, if I am completely honest, wounds my pride.  (Any other 1s struggle with pride too?) That the Lord will hold me up, because the reality is, in my failure, He is still God.

Singleness and I, we have a love/hate relationships. 

There are days that I am so grateful to have the freedom of being single, the ability to love, serve and invest where I want to.  To be able to move in with my parents and help out for a season (more on that another time), to be able to drop everything and go help with dinner and bedtime at a friends house when she and her husband just took in a set of foster siblings who put the total number of kids in their house up to 8(?!?).  I love having the freedom to go where I want, spend my money how I want.  If it seems like a good idea to stay in bed and read my Saturday mornings away, I can. 

But there are times where I don't love singleness.  Holidays are by far the worst, everyone having family engagements, and the millions of pictures of cute kiddos and matching PJs on Instagram.  Sometimes wish I had someone who was on my team (I have a great team, like amazing,  but you know what I mean).  Someone to be my person in that way.   Someone to split bills with, and share vacations with.  Someone to take away some of the fear of what the future will look like, cause facing it by yourself can be scary. Someone to share frustrations with at 10:00 at night, when it's not exactly appropriate to be calling my married friends on the phone.

I know that no marriage is perfect, and I have had a front row seat to see how messy some of them can truly be.  I have seen the work and time required. But, in our culture, especially the Church in America, we make marriage out to be a cure of some sorts, and that life doesn't fully start until marriage.  That you aren't a "full adult" until you are married. 

Because of that I love, love, love this talk given by Annie Downs.

So much of it resonates with me: 

What if I was giving up the dream, for a dream? 

This fear resonates with me the most.  How many times have I subconsciously (or consciously) thought about the choices I was making through the lens of could this choice be limiting my chances of getting married?  As a female who leads, this is one of my biggest fear.  At times, I've made my self "smaller" with the hopes to not seem as intimidating as I've been told I can be. I've taken jobs with the hope of seeming like an apealing wife figure, trying hard to be what I think I want the person I want to be with would be looking for.  Only realizing later, that if someone couldn't deal with all of me, my leadership giftings, my penchants for helping people, and having crazy ideas that I like to turn in to reality, then they probably wouldn't be a good person for me anyway.  

Do you want permission to grieve a dream never realized?
Yes.  I had never thought of this in this way, the idea of grieving a dream.   As many of my friends approach 10 years of marriage, and have kids in grade school, I realize that I may never be in the same life phase as them.  My nephews are all in elementary school, if ever had kids they would be significantly younger than their cousins. Christmases at my parents may never look like I thought they would.  I will never be a young wife or young mom.  I'm learning to be ok with this, and recognize that it is OK to be sad about what will never be, even if how the Lord has used my life has been in meaningful service. 

But I need to be reminded of these truths: 

I don't want to live in a passive state of waiting, I want to live in a chronic state of this is the good life. This is the good life, the Word has said over and over that God has given you everything you need......When I put all of my focus and my hope on the things that I want instead of what I already have, and what I can go after. 
I think when I left Mission Adelante, I was putting myself into a season of waiting, what I thought would be an easier version of life. I said no to lots of things, I made choices that I thought were safe.  So much of it blew up in my face. The job that was supposed to be a break, was horrible.  I missed leading and coming up with new things.  I was a frustrated apostle with no outlet.  I missed my friends, my kids and developed all sorts of weird health issues. I cried, a lot. I thought this was how life was supposed to look.  In reality, I wasn't being who I was supposed to be, I trying to live life in a way where I had less risks.  Waiting for things that I thought I wanted to happen. 


So this question is the question I am sitting in.  As I dig out of the mess that has been the last year of my life.  The disorganization, the family drama, the health problems, the multiple jobs, the moving back home after only being gone for 3 months...

How do you craft a life that brings God glory, and brings you joy even if he never answers your greatest prayers? 

For me right now that means taking risks.  Being bold in ways that I haven't been in a while.  Getting out of my own head, and sharing my stuff with people I have been hiding from.  Moving past fear.  Listening for and responding to the still small voice that I have been hearing.  Even if it is scary, risky even.  Even if in my head it may put me further and further from being "marriable."  I never want to look back on a season of my life again and say, wow, I was really busy waiting.  Cause waiting isn't much fun.  I want to look back and say I was learning, growing, exploring and pressing more and more into who the Lord has made me to be.